Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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