This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
