The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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