Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.

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  (256): Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload. (1-256): That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man. http://tfl.nu/ruio
  Replies (41) Good night (2785) Bad night (765)
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  (562): View more from California

  Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....

  (949): View more from California

  Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back

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  (562): Dude, can't find my socks anywhere.... (949): Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back http://tfl.nu/cw1n
  Replies (15) Good night (1100) Bad night (4468)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times

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  (240): oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times http://tfl.nu/z2iz
  Replies (12) Good night (6544) Bad night (1008)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

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  (812): Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch http://tfl.nu/sdde
  Replies (13) Good night (5008) Bad night (1080)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...

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  (561): Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/snfb
  Replies (23) Good night (1337) Bad night (4567)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house

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  (814): love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house http://tfl.nu/d9cn
  Replies (14) Good night (3281) Bad night (1065)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?

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  (519): I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen? http://tfl.nu/tjza
  Replies (20) Good night (6246) Bad night (1053)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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  (519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh
  Replies (5) Good night (1615) Bad night (700)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence

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  (614): I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence http://tfl.nu/48zv
  Replies (3) Good night (1546) Bad night (551)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless

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  (775): He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless http://tfl.nu/uuhp
  Replies (19) Good night (4045) Bad night (708)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.

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  (206): when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other. http://tfl.nu/no1k
  Replies (9) Good night (1820) Bad night (661)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.

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  (701): Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one. http://tfl.nu/mish
  Replies (8) Good night (689) Bad night (906)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"

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  (314): Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face" http://tfl.nu/5wsk
  Replies (3) Good night (1195) Bad night (426)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.

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  (701): I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking. http://tfl.nu/71cy
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (355)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss

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  (316): I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss http://tfl.nu/1mn2
  Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (586)

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