Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal

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(858): I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal http://tfl.nu/7yck

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(510): View more from California

my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice

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(510): my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice http://tfl.nu/x5d6

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.

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(919): I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again. http://tfl.nu/8soy

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(816): View more from Missouri

You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.

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(816): You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses. http://tfl.nu/7wdn

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(805): View more from California

IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!

(818): View more from California

A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?

(805): View more from California

CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT

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(805): IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT! (818): A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie? (805): CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT http://tfl.nu/znee

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(440): View more from Ohio

i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.

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(440): i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad. http://tfl.nu/60es

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(330): View more from Ohio

I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential

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(330): I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential http://tfl.nu/2wmk

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(301): View more from Maryland

you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.

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(301): you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off. http://tfl.nu/9btz

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(301): View more from Maryland

dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow

(410): View more from Maryland

so basically your not goin out tonight?

(301): View more from Maryland

who said that?

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(301): dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow (410): so basically your not goin out tonight? (301): who said that? http://tfl.nu/qimw

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(973): View more from New Jersey

this is a time for prayers...seriously

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.

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(973): this is a time for prayers...seriously (1-973): let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen. http://tfl.nu/ovsa

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.

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(832): Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse. http://tfl.nu/qyce

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(613): View more from Ontario

My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?

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(613): My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding? http://tfl.nu/fdqr

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(810): View more from Michigan

maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.

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(810): maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me. http://tfl.nu/khu4

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(239): View more from Florida

MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.

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(239): MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned. http://tfl.nu/x1yo

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(973): View more from New Jersey

We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

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(973): We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness. http://tfl.nu/5j3m

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