so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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