where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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