I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
