What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
