By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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