Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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