he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
