I think i peed on brittanys purse
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
