It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
