when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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