that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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