This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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