she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
