I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
