about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
