But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Found your dick twin last night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
