Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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