so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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