He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
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answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
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Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
lol hangovers are for mortals.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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