i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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