You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
