pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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