True but thats because hes a fetus.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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