I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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