That's intense
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
