so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
