he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
