I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My life is pants optional.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
