then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
