he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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