Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Randomize
