It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
