am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
