i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
