is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sober January is a disaster.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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