You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
