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You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
