ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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