put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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