And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
