I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
