Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
