ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize