Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
