During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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