I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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