What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Michael Bay diarrhea
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
