so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
