Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
