there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Pooping to opera.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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