I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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