as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
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just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
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If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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