she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
