We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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