Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
