i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
