Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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