He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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