every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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